The Myth of No Homework

“It’s time for bed. You have to put your computer away now,” I say. 

“But Mooooom, I HAVE to finish this,” one of my children replies. 

This is a common scene in our household- one, while annoying, I’m grateful for. 

Instead of nagging my children to get out and do their assigned homework, I’m instead asking them to put away the “homework” that they’ve assigned themselves. 

Well, sort of. 

Over the past five years, I’ve watched as my children have come home so excited about something they’ve learned at school that they are eager to do more research or work at home on the topic at hand. Or- they’ve finally mastered something on Khan, and they are motivated by this newfound momentum and feeling of accomplishment. 

Other times, they are doing work at home because they are still working away on the checklist of weekly goals that they’ve set for the week. Many of these goals are self-initiated and some of them are there because of a nudge from us. 

“Hmm, I noticed that you have not read your badge book in a while. How many badge books do you plan on completing this year? What session is it now?” You see where this is going….

Being a parent of a self-directed learner doesn’t mean that we aren’t involved in our child’s learning journey. It means that we are involved in a different way. 

Whether it’s setting weekly goals at home with your learner, sitting next to them as they work through Khan, or removing other distractions at home so they are more inclined to pick up that book they’ve said they want to read, we are an important piece of the puzzle as they learn how to successfully direct their own learning. 

It doesn’t look like nagging. It’s definitely not micro-managing. But ideally, it’s clear boundaries, expectations, accountability- and yes, celebration!

In our family, it looks like (mostly but not always) a weekly check-in to set goals and an end-of-the-week check-in to see where we stand. It’s an ongoing discussion about the importance of effort and good habits. It’s frequently a groan and expressed frustration that “there isn’t more time!” 

In many ways, our children are stumbling their way towards prioritizing the things most important to them- not unlike the way many of us do as adults. There’s always more to do. There are a million different ways to fill a day. But how to fill it in a way that reflects your values and your goals? It’s a process and we’re learning together.

Learning to learn, learning to do, learning to be, and learning to live together is hard work- work that doesn’t end when the school day ends.